ON October 20 at 4.10am a remarkable man died. His name was Dominick. He was 66-years-old and he was my father.
Exactly 12 months earlier he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Unfortunately, the cancer had by then spread to his bones. If the prostate cancer had been found before the disease was allowed to spread, the outcome could have been very different.
As a very close and loving family we were devastated to learn that my father had a terminal condition. The reality of this cruel disease was more horrific than we imagined. The disease was out of our control and the only thing we, as a family, could do was to ensure my dad received the best care available.
Our very dedicated mother, Mary, nursed him at home, only the two of them knowing of the very long, painful, desperate nights. It would not have been possible for dad to stay at home as long as he did without the excellent and invaluable care and support provided by the very dedicated team of Dr Golding GP; Nigel, the Macmillan nurse, and the district nurses. Five weeks before he died, my dad asked us to take him to a hospice. His pain was now unbearable. I will never forget the desperate feelings we had waiting for an ambulance to take us to Bury Hospice. We felt guilty because we had always said dad would stay at home. Were we letting him down? Fear of the unknown filled us with dread.
From the very moment we arrived at Bury Hospice we were impressed. It didn't take long for us to realise that we had made the correct decision. Everyone was marvellous: the reception staff, the cleaners, the chef, the nursing staff and doctors.
I wanted people to respect my dad; he was a wonderful man who deserved the best, and we know that he got it. The staff were professional, kind, supportive and approachable. The nursing care was excellent, the dedication obvious, and their support and kindness extended to my mother and our family.
For anyone unfortunate enough to have a loved one with a terminal illness, my heart goes out to you. Please let me reassure you that the palliative care available here in Bury is excellent. Bury Hospice is a place to be proud of and to be supported.
As a practice nurse myself, part of my role is screening and education. I would strongly advise all men to be aware of prostate cancer. Go for health checks and report any changes or problems experienced with urinary habits. Be aware that a simple blood test, PSA (prostate-specific antigen) can be taken and, when compared with age specific values, may provide a useful warning of malignant disease.
I would like to raise the profile of prostate cancer and make screening available to all men, similar to the on-going successful breast screening we offer women. I would particularly encourage all men considered "at risk" (men aged 55 years and over; men who have a first-degree relative with prostate cancer; and symptomatic men) to get themselves checked.
The ideal screening technique for those considered at risk is a digital rectal exam plus serial PSA tests. Some may argue that PSA blood testing is not useful for asymptomatic males: I think men should be allowed to make an informed choice.
The blood test is simple and inexpensive. Interestingly enough, after advising my father's first-degree male relatives to go for screening, I was surprised to find that the screening is routine in Eire, Australia and America and that my family members living in these countries had been screened already. Maybe that explains why here in England so many men die unnecessarily from prostate cancer.
As a daughter trying to come to terms with the death of a much-loved father, I urge all men to please become more aware of prostate cancer and to ask for screening.
DELLA BAINES, RGN/RM,
Ramsbottom.
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