Down by the Riverside with Phil Lloyd

I can remember a time when the January Sales started in January.

Nowadays the signs go up before Christmas is even here, enticing yet more unwilling shoppers to pay under the odds for something that they didn't really want in the first place.

As in the High Street, so in Nuttall Street.

'Bald midfielder, sir? I've got just the thing! Been well looked after, in fact barely used in the past few months. Plenty of life left yet. Genuine Irish? Of course it's genuine Irish! Yes, I know the label says 'Made in Birmingham', but believe me, sir, it's Irish."

"Sold, to the little man with red hair!'

It's hard to imagine our suave, sober-suited manager doing his Petticoat Lane stuff down Ewood way, but that's exactly what's been going on. And I hope Mr Strachan is pleased with his Christmas bargain, even when he's found out that it does tend to go sideways and backwards more effectively than any other direction.

Strange how so many vestiges of the Brian Kidd era are slowly but surely being swept away from the Ewood corridors, like the cobwebs left behind by a particularly ineffective cleaner.

Who'll be next? And what else does our manager have on his Christmas shopping list?

His latest new toy was reported to be Bent, but Souness still puzzled the fans at Tranmere on Saturday by omitting Matt Jansen instead.

I'm sure young Marcus will be proving his worth to Rovers long after this year's tinsel and trimmings have gone, but he needs some help. Bjornebye and Johnson are injured and Duff is still reluctant to take on defenders (can anyone tell me why?).

Bent's Blades form will be blunted without tasty crosses and there's no-one delivering just now.

We're relying on Dunny to unpick locks and pull apart defensive curtains. Next weekend, he won't be there and Rovers fans, unable at this time of all times not to look beyond the next game, are just a little uneasy. Why aren't we killing teams off? Why can't we score the weight of goals that we should?

How are we going to make sure we win this month's big matches (against Palace, Birmingham and Crewe)?

What Souness's team needs in their pre-Christmas stocking is a bottle of killer instinct and a map of 'how to get to the by-line'.

If you know anywhere selling these items, don't bother waiting for the sales!