WE'VE all sat behind them on planes.

The ignorant oafs who propel their chair into recline just as you're trying to guide a forkful of risotto somewhere near your mouth.

The selfish gits who barge down the aisle aiming to connect their swinging hips with as many sleeping heads as possible.

But, from personal experience, one passenger took the biscuit.

It was on a connecting flight back from Copenhagen following Blackburn's Champion's League game in Norway, after I had stayed on an extra night to sample the delights of the university town of Trondheim. (Use your imagination.)

I had settled into my first class seat, having been upgraded due to the fact that cabin staff thought I was looking a little peaky.

At the last minute, in stormed a blond, giant of a bloke who threw his huge frame into the seat in front.

He then proceeded to fidget for the duration of the flight, rudely dismissing the helpful stewardesses and almost clobbering a well-meaning fellow passenger who, for some reason, wanted to videotape his movements. It was only when the cabin lights went out and his nose started to emit a warm, red glow that I realised that it was Peter Schmeichel.

Observing the Dane in action for Manchester United did not serve to change my opinion of the guy.

For the stewardess read the officials and for fellow passengers read United defenders.

In his own eyes, Schmeichel could never do any wrong and the result of that arrogance was not a pleasant spectacle for the neutral.

The passage of years, and a lucrative Bosman transfer to Sporting Lisbon which blew the loyalty theory out of the water, may have turned Schmeichel into a big, white pussycat.

Even so, is that any reason to give the guy one of this country's highest honours.

I was speechless last year when Alex Ferguson was knighted. This year I nearly choked on my plum duff.

Is there a trend developing whereby the Queen has to include an Old Trafford interest in the New Year's Honours?

In my mind, honouring the likes of Schmeichel devalues the MBEs, OBEs, knighthoods and other awards deservedly handed to true champions -- of the community, charities and even of sport. But let's leave the final word to Ferguson. "During his time at Old Trafford he never finished lower than second in the league," he said.

Does that mean Jaap Stam will be made a baron next year?

Oh heck, I've had the last word again.