WITH the amount they're paid, I'm surprised that any of them dare put in anything less than their very best efforts.
But, apparently, footballers are as guilty as the rest of us of at slacking on the job.
Some, like Aston Villa's David Ginola, have supposedly earned a reputation for slowing down during games, while other players have been criticised for not pulling their weight in the second half.
But they won't get away with it for long. Not now sports scientists have invented a system which allows managers to track a player's performance on a laptop computer while he's playing.
The information comes from tiny sensors sewn into the player's boot and goes so far as to log the amount of sweat produced, as well as sprinting and jumping ability.
Now why waste such a great invention on the not-so-beautiful (particularly at this time of year) game?
Footballers are only human and are paid so much that unless they score a hat-trick every game they can't possibly justify their huge earnings.
Where this device really is needed is in the home.
If the life my husband and I lead is anything to go by, most couples with children spend most of their lives accusing the other of slacking.
If he's cooked and done the washing-up, then I know I can expect a barrage of questions as to what I've done. And I generally end up reminding him as to who irons his shirts and who does the vacuuming.
With the sensors in place, there would be no room for little white lies -- or dirty great black ones. My husband would only have to tap out a few digits to reveal just how many hundreds of toys I'd picked up off the living room floor that day, the dozens of times I'd broken up brawls, and the hours I'd spent on my hands and knees scrubbing the carpet after a mammoth children's potato-painting session.
Obviously, it would also highlight the times I spent idling on the sofa in front of the telly. But that, of course, would be a blink-and-you-miss-it affair.
My husband would score well on the food preparation and washing-up front, but he would not be able to escape the solid evidence of idling -- the hours spent fiddling about with geranium cuttings, or the half-days (really), spent in the bath reading magazines.
In theory, the device should go some way towards eliminating arguments over who did what and when.
But, I have a feeling that such close monitoring would make things ten times worse.
My husband already berates me for running the children to nursery in the car.
He'd love some sort of official recognition for the sweat he works up taking them there on foot. In no time he'd have the resulting bar charts printed out and framed. It would also reveal that while I ram home the fact that I do the vacuuming, the emergence of the Hoover tends to coincide with the total eclipse of the sun, and then it's only ever put to use in one or two rooms.
No, I think it's better to stick to bickering, even if much of it is based on lies and exaggeration.
I'm sure my husband will agree when I say I'd prefer my bouts of sluggishness to go unnoticed.
Now a device that monitors the children's behaviour -- we would be very interested in that.
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