Just Jamie, a weekly look life by Jamie Diffley

AIRING the business of your nearest and dearest in public was never going to be easy and I knew I would be skating on thin ice chronicling the lives of those closest to me.

But the chastising I expected from the Folks never materialised. They actually found pride in knowing their only son would rather perform painful self-dentistry than be in their company.

For a brief time, the article even found its way on to the front of the fridge -- the highest accolade in any home -- determinedly held on by a monkey-shaped magnet that came free with a box of tea-bags.

The real gripe came from Big Sis and Billy Boy and concerned not what I had said rather what I hadn't.

They were fuming that I had neglected to mention the Mite -- their other son and my other nephew. I've since been accused of Mite-ism but there could be nothing further from the truth.

I didn't forget about the Mite. I left him out on purpose for his own good, to prepare him for a cruel world ahead. As cute as he maybe the Mite will forever be overlooked just for coming second. Harsh but true -- just ask Buzz Aldrin.

The Queen is only the Queen because she was first past the post, leaving poor little Margaret to languish in the regal shadow of Big Sis.

The Mite is only nine months old but already second-child syndrome is evident. A whole wall at the Folks is dedicated to various expensive portrait photographs of the family taken when Golden Boy was the age the Mite is now and he was a mere twinkle.

A single snap of the Mite has managed to gatecrash the exhibit but it almost looks out of place, like an uninvited guest. And to add insult to injury it keeps falling off and is often left languishing on the floor.

For the record, yours truly is also missing from the portraits. You never grow out of second-child syndrome! There is no doubt that the Mite is a valued family member but all energies are put into the first born.

When the Golden Boy burst on the scene he was showered with sparkling shiny gifts, all brand new, all expensive. Eighteen months later, said gifts were dug out, re-packaged and handed to the Mite.

And his clothes all have that distinctive worn before look about them -- some even have his older brother's name on, although at least his sibling is of the same sex.

I cut a strange sight at nursery in a gingham dress (personally I thought I looked quite dapper).

He is far from alone in his plight. Around 240,000 second children are born every year, each one destined to fight a life-long battle to be noticed. They will be omitted from family albums, which burst with pictures of the first born enjoying their first Christmas, first holiday etc. They will be overlooked, made to wear hand-me-downs and basically tread in the footsteps of those that have been before.

My case wasn't as bad as the Mite's; as an only son and youngest of all cousins and grandchildren I was afforded my fair share of attention (all now spent on Golden Boy) but I still know what he's in for and when he's older he'll realise why I left him out. I did it for him!