THE French existentialist writer Jean-Paul Sartre once defined "hell" as, "other people."

One can only conclude that the Gallic philosopher had never ventured to Stockport on a wild and windy Tuesday night in February.

Grim doesn't begin to describe it.

Stockport has never had much of a reputation for being a football town.

But it has to be said that things have come to a pretty pass when the town is so disinterested in its football club that it allows Manchester United to build an official merchandise store en route to Edgeley Park.

Mind you, let us not forget that this is a club whose chairman recently proposed moving to the soon to be redundant Maine Road and rechristening the club Manstock County.

Even more alarming than Stockport's obsession with all things Mancunian is their pricing policy. They regard it as reasonable to charge £13 to stand on a roofless, crumbling terrace. After only a few minutes of the Edgeley Park experience, the chairman's suggestions about Maine Road seem less and less ridiculous.

Perched atop our terrace stands that most useless of football related inventions -- the electronic scoreboard.

What is the point? Only the spectacularly stupid need refer to a scoreboard during a football match to ascertain the state of play.

Not that the scoreboard is pressed into action. Because with a gale force wind howling around the ground, it proves impossible to play anything resembling football.

Suffice to say the most interesting aspect of the first half is trying to work out why the nearby refreshment stall shuts down for 10 minutes for no apparent reason.

Unbelievably the second half is worse as the heavens open above our roofless terrace and we are treated to 45 minutes of a new sport called monsoon football.

However, the feeling on the terraces is best summed up by a bloke who takes a call on his mobile from a friend, inquiring how the Clarets are faring.

Mobile Man responds with a stream of expletives so wide and varied, this writer draws the conclusion that he is an expert in his chosen field.

A weary looking Burnley finally and eventually make their point. But the point is that the Fulham game aside, the lads are looking somewhat jaded.

After exploding out of the blocks in the early part of the season, the Clarets are simply limping to the finish line. Let's hope we can inject some pace at Watford tonight.