DERBY Day does not get off to the best possible start.

This may have something to do with the fact that the night before this writer had spent most of the evening attempting to drink his own body weight in strong, continental lager.

And that, coupled with only a few hours sleep, does not make for the best preparation.

Still, faint heart never won local derby.

And so it's off to the Turf, where the combined exhaust fumes of some 80 coaches did little to ease the banging inside my skull.

En route to Blackburn we are made to feel right at home.

Some locals stand waving on a motorway bridge -- and least I think they are waving -- whilst one banner proclaims, "Welcome to Hell."

And they should know. After all they live there.

Once inside Ewood Park it is obvious from three sides of the ground that the club harbours Premiership ambitions.

But it is good to see Rovers pay homage to their less salubrious past by retaining a Division Three stand in the form of the WalkerSteel Stand.

For the half hour before kick off, the WalkerSteel's inhabitants congregate at the foot of the Darwen End and stare at us, pointing, gurning and gesturing.

How quaint.

The game begins and develops into a pattern of Rovers slick passing versus the Clarets hustle and bustle. Curiously, Burnley appear to lack heart.

Paul Weller clatters into a Sky microphone. It is the most committed challenge of the first half.

Frustratingly, Lady Luck has donned a blue and white shirt for the first 45 minutes. She twice comes to the home side's aid by gifting them goals via wicked deflections.

Half time in the Darwen End is long sighs, longer faces and dark mutterings.

As the second half gets underway, Burnley seems determined to instill some flair into their play.

Paul Smith and Paul Weller attempt fancy back heels and the Clarets carry a small but significant threat.

It is then unfortunate that our back four go completely AWOL and concede a third. And then the game is well and truly up.

Burnley's heads appear to drop, and though it pains me to say it, the home side's undisputed superior class begins to tell.

Still, it's good to see that the £100m Blackburn have spent on players has not been totally squandered.

Burnley continue to implode and by full time all they are left with is a damn good hiding and abject humiliation. Derby Day? The passion, the sound and the fury? Forget it. Someone take me back to hangover.