I'M only attractive to flies these days. I don't know why, but I've become like a magnet to the horrible things.

Am I the only person who takes their dog out for a walk in temperatures topping 80 degrees wearing an oversized rainproof jacket with my arms drawn up inside the cuffs - and topped off with a fastened hood?

At least it stops swarms of the things buzzing around my ears.

Anyone who spots me in the fields must hide, thinking I'm a complete barmpot - but who cares, it's the only solution I can think of to beat my latest bugbear.