FLICKING through the late night satellite TV stations, Citizen Smith has noticed a particularly eye-catching sport.

It combines athletic prowess, sun, sand and skimpy costumes.

Yes folks, it's beach volleyball, and it's my idea for the sad old Bubbles site.

The world beach volleyball championships are currently taking place, drawing large crowds and teams from across the world (it's even an Olympic event!)

But, unless an extreme and very rapid increase in global warming has occurred, this year's host nation is landlocked Austria!

If a nation without a grain of sand can host such an event why can't Morecambe?

Can anyone think of a more suitable venue? The warm Lancashire welcome, the vista, the fish suppers.

The ideas for the Bubbles site have ranged from the extremely expensive (who is going to come up with the cash for a marina?) to the bizarre (an iguana strutting his stuff to Ozzy Osborne).

By simply filling in the swimming pool with sand we could attract a bevy of Baywatch beauties that's sure to attract an annual migration of birdwatchers.

Welcome to Morecambe where "Health Abounds, Beauty Surrounds!"

I'm sure our Eric would have approved.

This is the time of year for daft ideas, and its good to see leading bosses organisation the CBI joining in.

Apparently those employees lucky enough to get half an hour for lunch should not be allowed to nip down to the Ferret and Fulcrum for a swift half.

It might mean, you see, that the company doesn't get the most out of the worker it is paying tuppence ha'penny to.

It could lead to a slight drop in the "squeeze the pips till they squeak" ratio or a blip in the multi-billion pound profits of Mega-corp International Limited.

Perhaps bosses should realise that placing unrealistic demands on people, paying them the minimum they can get away with and using backhand techniques to worsen their working conditions isn't generally a great way of motivating the troops.

But that's the way of the corporate world. Small businesses are eaten up or shoved out of the way and human beings are reduced to a mere "resource" and exploited for what they are worth in a mindless pursuit of bigger and bigger profits.

In fact, if companies really do need to save money, they ought to be looking at the people who earn the most and contribute the least and who can often be found quaffing a glass of expensive claret to celebrate an even bigger bonus or shares dividend!