HELLO, Helen, I've just rung to touch base with you. Urrghhh! If there was ever a temptation to slam the phone down, that phrase would provide it.
A favourite line of PR luvvies, particularly those in the south-east, I feel tempted to reply: "Well, I'm free for a game of baseball this weekend, if you can make it."
Everyone has pet hates among the things people say. A colleague of mine finds 'Hiya,' grates on him, particularly when uttered in a child-like voice by middle-aged women.
My husband hates 'guys.' "Guys are for bonfires," he says. Now there's a new guide to some of the more pompous words and phrases being used in everyday situations or, as the book - called Mind the Gaffe, The Penguin Guide to Common Errors in English - picks out, being "utilised."
Other words and phrases that appear - which I particularly hate and avoid using unless backed into a corporate corner (in my last job, in education, I'd have been sacked for not using them - plain English was banned) - include 'feedback', 'input', 'at this moment in time,' and 'interface.'
I still don't know what the last one means, even though it was part of my daily working life for two years. There are plenty more dreadful words and phrases being bandied about.
I don't know whether these are in the book, but they set my teeth on edge:
Workshop: I was brought up to believe that this had to contain a work bench, a vice and lots of tools. Not a circle of chairs where a group of people sit to discuss subjects like tantric sex or learn how to make a dream catcher from an old sieve and a few cotton wool balls. 24-seven: This is one of the worst, for a number of reasons - firstly, why don't people say 'all day?' Secondly, when people say '24-seven,' they say it so smugly, as if they have suddenly become so cooool and trendy.
Sea change: I hadn't heard this until recently and now it crops up all the time, even - heaven forbid (I thought they would know better) - on the Radio 4 'Today' programme. What's wrong with simply 'change?'
Parenting: I would rather say the longer 'bringing up children.' Parenting makes it sound like a hobby, like running, stamp collecting or yachting. 'Parenting skills,' is equally annoying - both smack of political correctness.
Partner: This word often can't be avoided. If you're an unmarried couple in your late thirties, the alternative of 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend' makes you sound like teenagers.
Generic: In my last job everything was either generic or holistic. I came to realise that if you used either or both in every sentence, such as 'Would you like a generic cup of coffee?' promotion came quickly.
Of course, there are many more highly-irritating words and phrases that are often used in corporate circles, like 'moving the goalposts,' and 'running an idea up the flagpole.'
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