REFEREEING is in the midst of a major overhaul.

The old classes one to three are being replaced by 10 levels in addition to an international level. You will already know that within the Professional Game Match Officials there is now a select group which is salaried.

These groups are headed up by managers rather than referees' officers. Assessors are now called delegates and they mark out of 100 rather than 10 (I still only average seven)!

Next season will see substantial change further down the pyramid until eventually this new culture reaches the local parks. Its aim is to improve performance, root out bad practice and eliminate complacency. A Crozier rather than cosier future awaits us.

As part of this process we were asked this summer to sign a code of conduct from the FA. In the true spirit of transparency I am hereby unveiling some of its contents for you, my reader.

1 Always be seen to favour one team, preferably the home side.

2 If awarding a contentious penalty be seen to "even it up" at the other end.

3 If the team of a fouled player has a goalscoring opportunity, do not invoke the advantage clause.

4 If the colour of the card is in doubt, make it red.

5 Do not be seen to be using common sense or man-management skills.

6 Be aloof, unaccountable, and non-responsible to sensible questions.

7 Never admit you may have made a mistake.

8 Assistants must not get involved other than offsides and occasional throws.

9 Remember you are there to ruin the game for players and spectators.

10 Never allow players and spectators to think you are of legitimate parentage.

11 Remember the match officials conspiracy against Blackburn Rovers FC

12 We must penalise Mark Hughes at every opportunity.

Those keen students of the media amongst you will hopefully accept that this season so far we appear to be making a real success of things. From next week onwards -- serious issues!