I DECIDED to prepare the house for winter during my holiday last week. Unfortunately it needed more work than I thought.

I started by borrowing a water power cleaner to wash 15 years of ginny green teeth off the patio,

It's not as simple as shown on telly. It took two of us five hours to clean 20 square yards of flags and we were drenched, the walls and windows were filthy and all the pots and furniture covered in grit. It was one heck of a task.

What a way to spend a break, but after the American disaster there was no way I was going to get on a plane.

In the early 70s I missed a terrorist attack on Athens airport by the skin of my teeth. Only hours after my party left gunmen stormed the airport lounge and shot and killed passengers.

That was a near enough escape for me thank you, so painting our gate was as far as I got.