A COUPLE'S childless world was turned upside down when they decided to adopt a baby boy who had been taken into care on the day he was born.
Dean, 34, and Julie, 32, live in the Hollin Bank area of Blackburn and were unable to have children of their own. They adopted their first child, Jamie, now three years old, in August 1999 -- he was the subject of an emergency protection order because his older sister had been abused.
Jamie was in foster care until he was 18 months old, when he went to live with Julie, a nurse, and Dean, a driver. They have been married 10 years. (Names have been changed at the family's request.)
Julie explained that the couple had first thought about adoption because they had fertility problems.
"We'd tried various fertility routes and they didn't suit me," she said. "Having your hormones manipulated doesn't make you the nicest person to be around and I didn't like the intervention.
"We were on holiday and I was taking the fertility treatment. It was making me sick and I turned to Dean and said: 'This isn't working.'
"Having that time to sit together and talk gave us the opportunity to think about adoption seriously for the first time.
"After we had made that first phone call to social services, a social worker came to see us and explain the process involved. That was the first of about 10 meetings we had before we adopted -- either together or on our own.
"It's a very thorough process and it can be stressful -- not because the social workers are awful but because it makes you look very closely at yourself and the way you live."
She recalled the first time she saw the youngster who was to make such a big impression on her life.
"We met Jamie's foster family first. Nobody showed us any photographs until the match had been approved by the adoption panel. We got their on a Friday and on Monday we went to see Jamie.
"It was such an intense experience. Jamie was -- is -- such a lovely little boy. His foster mum had put him in a new blue outfit and I spent most of the time playing peek-a-boo with him. When we left I cried. It was one of the best days of my life."
After that they had a two-week period called "bridging" which involved Julie and Dean spending more and more time with Jamie.
She said: " I remember the day we brought him home; it was a Wednesday and I remember closing the door thinking 'He's ours. He's my child'.
"That first night neither Dean nor I could sleep. Jamie slept all night without a problem as soon as we put him in his cot. I took some adoption leave from work, and Dean decided he was going to be a house husband for two years so we could get Jamie settled.
"He was fine. The change didn't seem to bother him. He carried on playing, sleeping and eating as normal.
"We've got a big family around us and they were very supportive. Everyone treated him like he was our own. Family are so important in these situations. Seeing our parents, Jamie's grandparents, treat him like he was one of their own made a big difference."
Julie, who used to work in a maternity unit, wondered whether she was missing out by not giving birth to her own baby. "But going home and getting a big hug puts all that out of your mind. I'd never think about fertility treatment again now," she said.
Jamie's birth parents get a letter and a photograph of him sent by the family once a year but they have no direct contact with them. The letter goes to a post office box.
Julie said: "Jamie has a book explaining his life history that his foster parents started to record before he came to us. He looks at it now. We will never keep his adoption secret. It will be something that will emerge as time goes on. Even now he gets two parties a year; one for his birthday and one for the day he came to live with us."
Julie said adoption takes a lot of patience. "It's a step-by-step process and you keep achieving small goals," she said. "It is hard work. But the rewards make the whole experience more than worth it.
"I have a lovely son who I feel totally belongs to us. Some people and theories say that if you haven't given birth, there isn't that same attachment, but I can't believe that. Dean and I love our son fiercely. "Jamie was quite an anxious baby and is an anxious child. He needs a bit of extra support and love. From the first day we met him we have given him that love and care. It's part of being his mum and dad."
Eleven children are looking for families willing to adopt them in the Blackburn with Darwen area.
The youngsters are among more than 150 in the North West, ranging from babies to teenagers, who are looking for permanent homes through no fault of their own.
Now adoption agencies from across the north west have joined forces in a drive to recruit more families as part of National Adoption Week.
Sue Reid, Blackburn with Darwen Borough Council's executive member for social services, said she hoped people would seriously consider adoption.
She said: "There is a national shortage of suitable people to adopt and as a result young children have to wait too long to find a new, permanent home.
"Adoption can make an enormous difference to children's quality of life, but also the lives of the adopters. I strongly urge everyone to think very carefully about how they might be able to help."
New national standards have been introduced by the Government to speed up the adoption process and it could take as little as eight months between initial contact and a placement being arranged.
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