NOT CONTENT with persecuting us during our annual fitness test, the sadists at Lilleshall have developed a website devoted to the training and fitness of match officials.

This new innovation, www.fit2ref.com is designed to give updated advice on training and nutrition. It is a damned nuisance in that it removes the excuse that many of us have used for years. That we didn't know how to get fit!

I realise of course that many readers will not have access to this exciting area of cyber-technology and therefore stand to miss out enormously. In the spirit of public service I have decided to highlight some of the advice available to refereeing surfers.

Pre Season Training: It is now suggested that the opening of envelopes to read the season's opening fixtures is insufficiently taxing. We are therefore advised to wear full training kit and to walk to the Post Office to deliver our acceptance of said fixtures.

In Season Training: If approached by the media, run rather than walk away. Step on and off the treadmill rather than just look at it. Look up a definition of the word "sprint" in the dictionary.

Nutrition: The Scottish practice of deep frying steak puddings is not to be encouraged. Steam with chips and mushy peas should suffice. Dehydration impairs performance so ensure you consume one pint of water to eight pints of beer. Preferably drink gin and (iso)tonic. Attempt to restrict yourself to low tar cigarettes or a pipe.

Heart Rate Monitors: Check your pulse in the prescribed manner. If you can feel it then a period of rest is essential.

As you can see from the above we are being given the very latest information. It is thanks to this flow of communication that even at the age of 48, our referees are managing to keep pace with a game of ever-increasing speed played by increasingly fit young professionals.