Morris major

"LOOK for the men with beards who are drinking real ale" suggest Glenn McGuire when I ask how I will find the John O'Gaunt morris men at one of their regular meetings.

As it happens, by the time I arrive Glenn, the 'Squire' (effectively, the chairman) of the side and his colleagues are already upstairs at the Farmer's Arms, practising one of their dances.

Anyone who has seen the New Zealand rugby team performing their famous 'Haka' has probably spent a few moments pondering on what their British rivals could come up with.

Well, they could do a lot worse than try the 'Shooting' dance. It involves each dancer grabbing a big stick, clashing them and performing an intricate dance before kneeling down with the sticks in a 'gun' position at the end.

I don't know how Jonah Lomu and co would react but it scared the hell out of me.

The precision they need to demonstrate to avoid knocking each other's heads off is considerable, and goes a long way towards explaining why a caption in the equally well know John O'Gaunt pub describes them as 'The Red Arrows without plans.'

"It's your turn now," I am told. What? I didn't sign up for this!

I reluctantly grab two shorter sticks of wood and watch Glenn and his colleagues run through a dance called 'Constant Billy'.

"We occasionally get a bit of stick from youngsters when we are performing," explains Glenn: "So we invite them to join in. They can pick this dance up fairly quickly, but by the end they know that it isn't easy."

I'm not reassured. But after a few minutes of clashing sticks, dancing and stepping backwards and forwards, it's time to collapse in a heap and grab my pint.

It's a good work out. Every bit as athletic as playing five-a-side football, and, while I think I went wrong a couple of times, it wasn't too confusing.

However, after a break for 'bagging' (giving out news) and the inevitable pint, I'm back on the dance floor, ready to have a go at a bit of 'Lancashire' dancing -- this time its 'The Chorley'.

'You can't make him do that," jokes Glenn: "He'll never manage it." A few conspiratorial smiles pass around the room. We're away.

Lancashire dancing involves a 'polka' rhythm and, normally, forward movement as sides often dance in processions.

It is usually performed in clogs, leaving sparks flying off cobbled streets. The thing it reminds me of most is circuit training. You never know what will happen next or how long it will last for. I was starting to buckle after a couple of minutes of dancing backwards and forwards.

The whole thing was a bit of a blur, to be honest, but I certainly felt like I'd been part of a real spectacle.

The John O'Gaunt morris men were founded in 1969 -- just in time, it seems, to keep some important parts of Lancaster's cultural heritage alive.

Since then they have travelled all over the country, performed for the Queen and even been asked to tour in the USA.

"We started off doing Cotswold," explains Keith Tassell, who has been with the side since it was formed: "But we went down to see the Manchester morris men who were the only team in the country doing Lancashire dancing at that time, about 15 years ago.

"That inspired us to come back and try to put it together. We then got the idea to put an advert in the paper asking for people who knew of any local dances to get in touch with us.

"It was answered by an old lass whose brother used to be in the Marsh morris men. Two of our members went down to see her and took down the details.

"It took about 18 months for us to get it together, but then we went down to see her one day and performed the dance for her in Lancaster city centre. She said it must have been the first time the dance had been performed in Lancaster for 50 years!

"Since then we've found dances from all over the area. All the little villages had their own dances."

As well as Lancaster's own dance, The Maze, the John O'Gaunt side have revived Wyresdale's 'Old Man Dance'. The details of the dance are carved in stone in the Book of Celts, kept in Ireland and dating back at least 1,000 years."

The dance, as demonstrated by Glenn and Keith, involves three men linking their feet and jigging around. I can suddenly see why the dance is sometimes referred to as 'kick your ****."

It was performed by the Winder family in Wyresdale until 1947 before its modern revival. As always, the team are in need of new members. So what attracts people to morris dancing in this day and age?

"We attract a variety of people, from 15 to 17 year olds up to people in their 70s," adds Glenn. "We don't throw people in at the deep end. People generally join us at this time of year and take part in their first show at Milnthorpe and Arnside on Good Friday.

"In that time they will have learnt maybe one or two dances. Overall, as a side we have around 60 dances available to us and some of our members know even more than that."

Keith adds: "The great thing is that the dances are standardised all over the country, so if you know a dance you can step in to another side and perform it with them."

Keith admits, however, that this type of dancing has its drawbacks: "The name is a problem for a lot of people. Morris comes from Mourish, though the exact origins of that name are unknown.

"It sounds a bit sissy, but it isn't. Just compare it with line dancing. In fact, one of the sides down south wanted to rename it double line dancing."

But, in light of that, what has kept him going for all these years: "I remember when we were just starting, being taken to a festival at Lichfield.

"We weren't good enough to dance, of course, so we stood on the roof of some toilets to watch.

"There were around 200 morris men and 50 or so musicians. We saw them dancing and we said to each other 'we're coming back here next year -- as dancers."

Glenn says the side is keen to attract new members -- though it has enough members to perform its full range of dances - they don't have enough people spare to give dancers a rest.

You need to have reasonable co-ordination, and it does help to be in decent physical shape. A love of real ale is handy ('we don't perform in lager houses' says Glen).

The cost is very low, with help provided in making the costumes and no charge for the regular practices (apart from the cost of beer, of course).

The side only accepts male dancers at present, though there are two women who help out with the music. Morris dancing is suitable for any age group. More information is available from Glenn on 01254 61469, email glennhow56@yahoo.com. For more on the John O'Gaunt side check out www.johnogaunt.org.uk