WE'RE on the verge of a Third World War and the media are going potty about Liz Hurley being pregnant. Who cares?

A FESTIVE break has been arranged for Scrooges at a Whitby hotel. It boasts cold sandwiches for Christmas dinner, and a chance to burn decorations. Count me in.

TV gardener Charlie Dimmock now has her own gnome, complete with red hair and close-fitting T-shirt. It's worlds away from the little bearded men with beards and fishing rods, but I still don't want one.