WE'RE now in the middle of the most hectic party season of the year. No doubt there will be happy feasting and fun in thousands of homes across East Lancashire with mum slaving away as usual.
My only note of caution is: be very careful who you invite.
For in these days of totally unexpected, shock-inducing litigation you certainly can't afford anything to go amiss, particularly if you've invited the wrong people.
If you think I'm kidding take the case of a lady in Wiltshire who, earlier this year, invited all her close friends round for an expensive and carefully prepared meal. It was just a nice, friendly social get-together.
Just after the main course a lady guest suddenly fell through a chair, leaving her with nothing more than a slight graze on her backside. The party dissolved into fits of laughter as she suddenly disappeared under the table in a scene resembling a TV comedy sketch. It turned out to be anything but funny.
What happened later brought gasps of disbelief from just about everyone else at the party. The lady host, up to then a close friend of the tumbled guest, received a solicitor's letter accusing her of providing defective seating, of negligence under the Occupiers Liability Act and demanding several hundred pounds in damages!
Commented the hostess: "It seems that these days people will sue over the slightest problems even against their friends. Have we come to a point in society where we can't even invite people to dinner without risk?" Once upon a time, if you had any sort of an accident and you decided it was serious enough, it was up to you to consult a solicitor. That was before this group of uniquely qualified professionals were allowed to advertise their services. They were, in fact, bound by very strict rules about how far they could go in displaying their services. And, some might feel, with good reason.
Then the restrictions came off and we have quickly progressed from simply advertising services to openly pandering for business from anyone who feels they might succeed with just about any kind of claim. Even on television these days, legal firms regularly invited people to launch proceedings on a "no win, no fee" basis. In the space of two decades we have become as litigious as America.
Only last month, on connection with an entirely different legal matter, Hyndburn's MP Greg Pope expressed himself "concerned about the growing compensation culture -- like in America -- where everyone wants something for nothing."
So my warning about the Christmas party is not untimely. I mean, think of the damage those exploding party poppers could do.
Before getting your party off with a bang you'd better check that the same doesn't happen to your guests. That hole in the drive, for instance. Can't have anyone tripping up, bashing their head, and dashing off to a solicitor can we? Especially if they are a bit tipsy.
And then there's the furniture to inspect. Any dodgy chairs -- and out to the garage with them. Oh, and that loose stairs carpet definitely needs attending to. Don't just leave it and risk getting sued for a broken neck. By the way, it's VERY important to fix that insecure lavatory seat. And what about those party games? Well, depending on the state of the seating, musical chairs could be out for a start. Games with the lights off? Mmm . . . much too risky.
Then there's the Christmas cake. If you make your own, better not follow the age-old custom of baking a silver coin inside it for good luck. It might just turn into extremely bad luck.
Just imagine the consequences if little Jimmy accidentally swallows the coin, gets rushed off to hospital and has to be pumped full of laxatives to await developments. (Don't laugh. This actually happened to my kid brother).
No, the risks attached to the rush for legal compensation means that the old family Christmas party ain't quite the same any more.
Then again, there's always one easy solution. You can, in that appalling, stomach-churning modern parlance, always "pig out."
Have a sue-free Christmas.
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