READERS by now should know I'm not a fan of poetry, but I sometimes allow the odd verse to creep in.
The lack of public loos in Leigh prompted this gem from a pensioner who wishes to remain anonymous, for obvious reasons.
If the doctor gives you diuretics
Don't go into Leigh
You're bound to have an accident
I know, it's happened to me.
Whilst walking round in Netto
I got the urge to go
So I dashed off to Bengal Street
The nearest loo I know
But since Big Wiggin took over
We're just a one-horse town
I might have known when I got there
That the shutter would be down
There's one in the public library
But not for public use
Now then I start to panic
My bladder's coming loose
So I make it to the bus station,
Don't smile I'm not joking,
Just as I got through the door
Too late my pants are soaking.
It's tough getting older. I too know the feeling of being desperate to go, there's nothing worse.
But once again, the minority of people who vandalise public loos have ended the convenience for the rest of us. READERS by now should know I'm not a fan of poetry, but I sometimes allow the odd verse to creep in.
The lack of public loos in Leigh prompted this gem from a pensioner who wishes to remain anonymous, for obvious reasons.
If the doctor gives you diuretics
Don't go into Leigh
You're bound to have an accident
I know, it's happened to me.
Whilst walking round in Netto
I got the urge to go
So I dashed off to Bengal Street
The nearest loo I know
But since Big Wiggin took over
We're just a one-horse town
I might have known when I got there
That the shutter would be down
There's one in the public library
But not for public use
Now then I start to panic
My bladder's coming loose
So I make it to the bus station,
Don't smile I'm not joking,
Just as I got through the door
Too late my pants are soaking.
It's tough getting older. I too know the feeling of being desperate to go, there's nothing worse.
But once again, the minority of people who vandalise public loos have ended the convenience for the rest of us.
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