I CAN'T imagine many single men turning down a woman who offered herself on a plate -- moreso a sozzled soap star.

But that's what Wigan divorcee Derek Fowler did when he encountered Eastenders' actress Elaine Lordan lurching on the bonnet of his car outside an hotel.

It is alleged the 35-years-old who plays cafe girl Lynne Hobbs was so far gone she pulled herself onto Derek's windscreen and pushed her breasts out, then spread her legs across the silver Volvo.

A stunned Derek, 49, who was staying at the Holiday Inn at South Mimms, Herts, while working away, was astonished by the performance.

Like he said, it must be every man's fantasy to have something like that happen - but he didn't find the encounter one bit enticing.

After her performance the actress, who also fell off a stool in the bar and demanded that customers should stop watching TV, was banned from the hotel. Derek was offered free nights at the hotel after his ordeal.

What a tale to tell - and what a fine example of what an overdose of the demon booze can do to bring shame.