This week, with the Rev KEVIN LOGAN, of Christ Church, Accrington

WE'VE got ourselves a Regeneration Officer in Hyndburn. Nice chap with grand smile, a good brain and he wears a suit.

Pity, though, about his job. I mean, nobody knows what he does.

Whatever it is, it's important. He chairs think tanks at our posh Globe, and even the mayor looks up to him.

The big problem is, of course, the title -- Regeneration!

Nobody understands it, so I was told when I got 'revved up'. Wise theologians rapped aspiring vicars over the knuckles for preaching gobbledygook instead of plain English.

And we used to use it a lot around Easter time.

Us budding Billy Grahams would thunder: 'You sinners need to repent and let in God's resurrection power, and be REGENERATE! '

Sounded great when you thumped it out on the pulpit top.

But no. We had to become hip! Get with it, daddy-o (it was just after the sixties).

"Sonny," sighed our wise ones, "tell them they need to die to their own selfish selves, and let God come in to give them his new Easter resurrection life!

So, what Hyndburn should have called their man was -- Easter Officer Or New Life Man. Might not toll with the same dignity, but at least we'd know it meant breathing new life into dead towns.

Which is exactly what he's doing!

A new four-screen cinema! Ten-pin bowling alley! CCTV cameras springing up like daffodils. Millions in grants swilling around. Our Regeneration Officer 's not only regenerating the town but also the word.

Soon, folks, you'll again hear the thunder, 'Let God in and be regenerate ' Born Again!' Regenerated people in regenerated towns. Heaven's the limit!

Now, where's that pulpit? I feel a thump coming on.

Rev. Kevin Logan, Vicar of Christ Church Accrington.