This week, with the Rev Kevin Logan, Vicar of Christ Church, Accrington

"LISTEN, boys!" The warm Irish lilt in the priest's voice froze as ice. His eyes were blue-diamond hard. "Always remember" pause for effect "that a woman's body is UUUUGLY!"

Shoulders trembled about me. My mate skewered a giggle by jabbing a pen nib in his leg.

Irish thundered on "and if oy catches any of yous so much as mutterin' smut, you'll be out without so much as yer feet touchin' the ground!"

So ended our one and only sex lesson. Sex was dirty. All good 12-year-old boys needed was cold showers and lots of football.

My mates bragged about rare behind-the-bike-shed fumblings. None claimed to have gone 'all the way', mainly because the phrase hadn't been invented.

Once, it was rumoured that Mary Thingummyjig had got caught, but she disappeared, never to be seen again.

Today's rumours are different. "Heard about Tracey Thingymybob? Still a virgin! Imagine, at 15!"

Sex lessons are virtually core curriculum. Gone is the shame. There's no fear left. Sex is

the norm, so let's teach them how to do it safely.

And for those who don't? Ah, well, let's give them a flat, finance and acceptance.

Not really surprising we're top of Europe's teenage pregnancy league. Methinks something is still missing in our sex education.

Theatre group Challenge Team had a good idea. Instead of offering a confetti of free condoms, they acted out the Britney Spears approach - all the vogue in the States. The safest sex is no sex.

East Sussex sex educators promptly banned them. Seems we can tell kids to say no to drugs, but not to sex. Weird!