I WONDER if anyone can help me? I would like to apply for a £50,000 handout from Bury Council taxpayers but have been unable to locate the appropriate application form.

I have a business which is on the verge of bankruptcy due to my incompetent management and the fact that no one wants to buy my products.

Until now I have laboured under the misapprehension that the council tax, recently increased above the rate of inflation, was to pay for filling in the borough's decrepit and pot-holed roads, to keep open its threatened schools and to contribute to policing its increasingly lawless streets. But no!

I read that Bury Council taxpayers' hard-earned cash is going to be given to maintain 11 men who kick a bladder up and down a field for 90 minutes each week in an almost empty stadium.

BURY TAXPAYER