IN the words of Victor Meldrew, I don't believe it!

Sven Goran Eriksson flying his personal hairdresser all the way from England to Japan -- is it a joke, a misprint, or April Fool's day?

Talk about handbags at thirty paces. Are our so-called star footballers not pampered enough?

Do they need to be crimped and permed before each game?

Why not supply them with an Ena Sharples-style hairnet as well? Gosh -- some of them may have to accidentally head the ball.

Send the lot of them home.

Is this why it's called the beautiful game? Sorry, lads -- you really are a turn.

ALAN PEARSON, Park Lee Road, Blackburn.