MOST people will have seen the advert on TV - that irritating American bell-boy turning up in unlikely locations with a pizza and a stomach-churning line in customer care.
To me, his catchphrase "whenever" is swiftly translated to "never ever" as the rouge-faced New Yorker pushes The Chicago Town Pizza.
The first in a series of adverts features an unfortunate soul in a dentist's chair with his mouth forced wide open - evidently incapable of telling the bell-boy where to stick his pizza.
When I met the man behind the £2million campaign, Ben Johnson, the European Marketing Controller for Schwan's, he was dismayed by my reaction.
Admittedly, later ads in the campaign which have yet to hit our TV screens are funnier - particularly when the all-American hero interrupts a seduction scene.
When I gave Ben my honest thoughts on the chilling scene in the dentist's surgery, he was knocked off his stride. But I had remembered both the advert and the brand - and to a marketing man, that is all that matters.
"We deliberately set out to be different," said Ben. "We looked at what our competitors were doing which mainly revolved around cliches, with couples relaxing on sofas eating a pizza.
"Schwan's is an innovative company and we wanted the advertising to be extreme and shocking. The idea was to raise awareness of the product and the early indications point to it being a success."
In one of Lancashire's best-kept manufacturing secrets, an industrial estate on the outskirts of Leyland is the unlikely home to The Chicago Town Pizza, the best-selling frozen pizza brand in the UK, with a market share of more than 20 per cent. Ben is proud to point out that Chicago Town is the 47th biggest grocery brand in the UK - bigger than Kellogs Cornflakes, Weetabix and Bisto.
The American-owned firm moved to the town in 1989, initially producing just 12 hand-topped pizzas per minute. Today, more than 400 employees produce a staggering 2.8 million pizzas a week.
Leyland is also the headquarters for Schwan's European operations which include factories in Germany and France.
Ben Johnson is in charge of a 24-strong team responsible for marketing the Schwan's brands across the Continent.
He explained that work on the campaign began in October last year when consumer research confirmed the team's thoughts the previous series of adverts had run out of steam after four years.
"We wanted to be both relevant and entertaining in a cultured market that was full of cliches," he said. "Our brief was quite simple - no kitchens, no chefs, no sofas and no kids."
Initial research showed that the word 'whenever' best summed up the concept of a micro-waveable frozen pizza that met the needs of the Chicago Town customer. The all-American bell-boy was seen as embracing the US service culture.
"The campaign concept was finished in February and centred on the bell-boy who is cheeky, likeable and always willing to please," explained Ben. "He has undying enthusiasm. However, he is not so good at reading the sensitivity of certain situations. He is available whenever, but he turns up at times that are either emotionally or physically inappropriate."
Around 30 scenarios for the bell-boy were explored before the final four adverts were devised - at the dentists, out jogging, in the sauna and in the bedroom.
The search for a bell-boy went to Los Angeles where a casting agency found the four foot ten inch out-of work actor who had once appeared on the Rhoda TV show. Like all jobless thespians, he was working in a coffee shop waiting for his big break.
Flown to London for the filming, the ads were shot in April and carefully edited for 10, 20 and 40-second broadcasts.
Ben and his team are hoping that the campaign, timed to coincide with new product launches, will increase Schwan's share of the market.
A new range of Chicago Town products are hitting the supermarkets this month following months of consumer research and testing - the breakfast pizza.
Featuring either bacon or sausage with scrambled eggs and cheese, the 'Scrambles' is a new concept in the fast food business.
Ben, however, is convinced it will work because of the extensive research into their customers shopping and eating habits.
"We know what they think and feel," said Ben. "We know what they eat and where, when and how they eat it. Consumer insight is the ongoing basis for our brand targeting."
He was kind enough to include a handful of vouchers for The Chicago Town Pizza . Am I a convert? Well, not exactly. I posted them to my penniless daughter in Sunderland - pizzas are what students eat, aren't they.
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