THE ITV series 'Lads Army' is fraying at the edges.

Any National Serviceman will tell you to report sick you don't, as was said, "get your beret."

You reported sick with a sniffle (or else you were put on a charge of rendering the entire squad unfit for duty) or about to collapse with a raging fever, broken arm, smashed ribs or bubonic plague -- it didn't matter.

You packed your small pack, put on your best battledress with full webbing, best boots and greatcoat, winter or summer.

You then paraded behind the guard. Then and only then could you march at the double to the medical facility to see the medical officer.

If you didn't have a temperature to start with, by the time you arrived you were red-faced, sweating like a pig and with a reading of 100-plus.

Isolation was the name of the game and it deterred the malingerers. Only the genuinely sick would report sick, which ruined your best kit and put you in danger of punishment for having less than pristine kit.

"Get your beret"? -- if only.

MR D PRATT, Plantation Street, Accrington.