JUST when you thought it was safe to pick up a paper again after Roy Keane bored the pants off everyone with his antics at the World Cup this summer now the Manchester United midfielder is up to his old tricks again.

'Keane: The Autobiography' is being dubbed as the hottest read of the year by the paper which has coughed up thousands for the serial rights.

But if you are looking for something with a bit more meat to it then I'd recommend going to the childrens section of your local bookshop.

Once upon a time I did have a modicum of respect for Keane during the days when he could actually fit his head through a door.

But these days the Irishman is nothing more than a Sunday League bruiser with a mouth the size of the Irish Sea.

Slagging off team-mates past and present is a purile act.

But if that wasn't bad enough then re-opening the old wounds surrounding his spat with Manchester City's Alfie Haaland is the act of a guy who is just plain stupid.

It's not the fact that Keane deliberately tried to hurt Haaland, it's the way he has openly boasted about it which really sticks in the throat.

All it confirms, however, is what we already knew -- that Keane is overpaid and interested 100 per cent in himself.

If Alex Ferguson has any sense he will throw the book (quite literally) at him.

History suggests that won't happen, of course, because Keane is fire-proof as far as Fergie is concerned.

So where as Jaap Stam got kicked out for ill-advised comments about his manager, Keane is likely to be given the freedom of Old Trafford for shooting his mouth off about everyone else under the sun.

In the meantime, sales of his book will also swell his bulging bank-balance even further.

At the end of the day, real hard-men can take what they dish out on the chin without feeling the need to respond like a petulant child.

And that's why I'm urging football fans everywhere to make a stand and stick with Enid Blyton as opposed to transforming Keane into a best-seller.