The man who can get both feet in his mouth!

ROY Keane is probably the best footballer in Britain.

He is also a prat who let down his country and tried to put a fellow professional out of the game.

Yet, to the man who is turning his rantings into a lucrative 'auto-biography' he is a ' modern day Bob Dylan' an 'anti-hero,' a rebel, if you will, without a clue.

Eamon Dunphy started off the trend for 'confessional' footballers book back in the 1970s when his groundbreaking diary of a season with struggling Millwall tore up the textbook as far as footballing literature was concerned.

Sadly, since then, Dunphy has rapidly disappeared up his own backside.

He is despised by many people in Ireland for running down the national team during its most successful era.

Dunphy harks back to the days when he and his Republic of Ireland team-mates 'played football' (albeit badly).

Jack Charlton's football wasn't pretty and his decision to 'poach' any player who had stroked an Irish setter probably didn't delight genuine Irishmen.

And let's not forget that Charlton's own autobiography provoked a level of controversy, which was almost Keane-esque.

However, the vitriol aimed in his direction by Dunphy is both shocking and disgusting.

How would Dunphy get Ireland to the quarter finals of the world cup? Or is that 'not good enough' for a country a fifth of the size of England, Germany, Italy or Spain?

The majority of the Irish people don't get him - his remarks about Mick McCarthy and the national team attracted an unprecedented number of complaints to the state broadcaster, RTE.

Yet still, this self appointed watchdog for Irish football makes out that he and he along speaks for the future of the sport.

To have an ex-national captain on his side is undoubtedly a boon to his desperate personal campaign and Dunphy will undoubtedly do anything to keep Keane in his camp.

His manager's comments are equally shameful.

Could you imagine Brian Clough, the man who discovered Keano playing for an Irish semi-pro team, condoning an attempt to maim a fellow professional?

What Keane needs - even at the age of 30-odd - is a clip round the ear and taking down a peg or two, and he needs it from the people he trusts and respects.

You just know that however big a ban he gets or however much he and United are forced to pay out in compensation (and lets hope it's a lot), Keane will continue to play like a bully-boy until he eventually goes too far and is forced out of the game for life.

Perhaps Keane might want to bring forward his long-planned move to Celtic - Martin O'Neil's guidance might just save his career.

I don't particularly dislike Keane.

He has done some stupid things, for which he deserves to be punished, and he will never be forgiven for chickening out of the world cup because there weren' t enough balls for him to play with.

That alienated the up and coming Irish players - if Damien Duff pulls on a red shirt in the near future, don't expect to see a 'Vodafone' logo on the front - and damaged his credibility with some of his most loyal fans.

However, his 'prawn sandwich' remarks struck a cord with many ordinary fans and his quality on the pitch has never been in any doubt.

And Keane wouldn't be Keane without a bit of fire in his belly.

Unfortunately, his choice of friends and advisers leaves a lot to be desired.

Until the people around him begin to give sensible, mature advice, the risk grows that his career may implode, rather than ending in glory for club and country.

Just to show this column is fair, balanced and slags off all the Mancunian clubs equally, I couldn' t help but laugh at the 'super' Blues efforts at Leeds on Saturday.

Apparently the plans to storm the Premiership and claim a spot in the Champions League have been postponed - for the time being at least.