with the Rev Kevin Logan, of Christ Church, Accrington

MY head got squashed in last week's column. Not pretty. No problem beyond the bruised ego. I have turned down trauma counselling and won't sue.

It did, however, aptly illustrate our current subject: God and sex. We have distorted both into four-letter words, which is not only lousy maths but appalling sense.

Distortion comes when we squeeze too much into too little. Sex is packed into every nook and cranny of our 21st century, and God, its designer, is squeezed out. Lovemaking is no longer sacred. How then should we woo back divine sex?

First, get the right God. That's not the designer-god that I might assemble to suit my personal appetites. Tragic, isn't it? God makes us in his image. We then remake him in ours. One human fancies a DIY deity who commands adultery. Another's God smiles on office affairs.

Second, get the right sex. Not the one-night variety that uses another two-legged animal for light relief. Right lovemaking sees the divine in the other. One God-being loving another God-being. True love never uses the other as an object to be cast aside like a worn condom.

Third, it's a family affair. Whoopee! yelled Adam on first seeing Eve. There was total commitment from the start and they bonded totally.

Lovemaking became the beautiful external expression of an inner marriage of two souls. Two melted into one in God's eyes, not two individuals having a go for a few weeks/months/years. Not a trial awaiting a verdict. Two, 'til death do us part. Sounds hard, but anything less is shallow and less than divine.

Next week: Adam and Steve?