DEAR Massi, I read your page regularly and I think you do a great job.

I have got myself into a such a situation and I don't know what to do. My closest friend is married and has been for a couple of years. However, she has been seeing someone else and I wish I never knew. I have known her family and her children for a long time and they are lovely people.

Whenever she goes out anywhere she always uses me as an excuse and I have had to lie on so many occasions. It has a become a normal thing between us and it came to a point where she didn't even have to tell me to 'cover' for her. I began feeling so guilty and have wished there was some way out of the situation. I never agreed with what she was and still is doing. Whenever her husband rings up I have to lie and it makes me feel so bad all the time.

Things have taken a turn for the worse recently though. Her husband turned up at my house enquiring where his wife was. I had to lie but I felt so bad I invited him in. One thing led to another and now I feel I have got myself into a no win situation. But it only happened once and since then he hasn't returned. I feel so bad and I just want to tell my friend everything.

We have known each other for years and talk about everything. I am finding it more and more difficult to 'hold back' as I also visit her house regularly. I am making excuses up now so I don't have to visit her.

Whenever she talks with me about what she has been up to I don't know what to say anymore. I haven't told her husband any of her secrets. I just wish I could walk away from it all but I can't.

What can I do?

NP, Manchester

Massi Says,

I wish there was a quick fix to all of this but there isn't unless you are willing to be very brave.

You must understand first your friend has been very selfish by using you and putting you into a tight spot. As she has been mooching around with some other bloke you have had to do all of the lying. If she was really your friend she wouldn't repeatedly put you into this spot all the time.

You should learn to say no and let her know how you feel, because friend or not some people will get used to getting everything on a plate if it all comes easy. It's put more pressure on you and obviously your friendship has suffered.

As for your other 'situation' you know yourself you have done wrong. Her husband is no-one to feel sorry for especially if he does exactly what his wife does when he has the chance.

Telling your friend will no doubt end your friendship but in the end what have you got to lose. Both husband and wife have used you haven't they. Feeling guilty like this is no good for you and if you want 'out' maybe it's time to come clean.

Finally, as for saying you don't agree with what she's doing, don't you think it is not for you to judge right now having done what you've done.