DEAR Massi, Last year I went to Pakistan for a family bereavement.

While I was there I fell in love with a beautiful girl. The problem is my mum's youngest sister found out and told my mum about it.

My mum was furious with me. She told me I had done a stupid thing. I told her I hadn't done anything wrong. My mum has arranged for me to marry my cousin.

I don't like my cousin.

I think about this girl all the time and I can't wait until we are together again.

I don't know what to do and could you also tell me where I can get some counselling.

Blackburn

Massi Says,

You say you are in love with this 'beautiful girl' but you didn't say in your letter how you actually met and how far the relationship has proceeded.

The major thing you need to realise is that the situation is ultimately in your hands. If you want to marry this girl I don't think the major obstacle is persuading your mother to allow you to do so. Because no matter how everything looks she's still going to look out for her son. Most mothers do.

The same can't be said of this girl. She may find other hurdles to cross. It's all very well thinking that things are going to end happily ever after but being so far away from her at this point (because I presume you have returned to the UK) can you really tell how she's feeling.

It is understandable you are upset but you also have to look at it from your mothers point of view.

You have gone to Pakistan and in her eyes embarrassed her in front of people she's known for a far longer period than you have. It may not be something you want to hear but that's reality.

As far as your aunt is concerned she seems like a very interfering person so your right for feeling aggrieved towards her. But you shouldn't blame others all the time and like I said the situation is in your hands.