THEY come in all colours, sizes and materials but there's nothing better than a well-fitted shalwar kameez.

There was a time when I would wear my shalwar kameez all the time...I even kept it on all day during Eid. But then some years ago I found people gave me funny looks and I got called freshie and all that. I stopped wearing it. It was either that or I'd have to shave my moustache off.

But I couldn't do it for long and was back wearing my trusted beige shalwar kameez everywhere. But I have noticed a couple of design flaws. First of all the 'nara' (the rope that holds your pants up) always seems to get tangled when you've just had six jugs of mango lassi. The experience teaches you a lot about life and stuff. Secondly, there's usually only one pocket making it very difficult to scratch those hard to reach places without creating a scene. And thirdly, in the winter, the chilly breeze can be really annoying.

Despite these little irritations the shalwar kameez wearer is the proudest man on the planet. Why? because he doesn't have to bother about three things....his waist size, whether the pants match the top and whether the stupid label that says how much your clothes are worth is the one in fashion.

And the best thing is if your shalwar kameez doesn't fit for any reason you can sort it out with a couple of alterations. If you don't like the nara...get the elastic fitted. If there's too few pockets get a couple of secret ones sewn in. And if the chilly breeze is too much.....wear your jeans underneath.

Amazingly, my salwar kameez goes with everything - trainers, rockports, striped jumpers, white socks, gold chains, bubble jackets, window...I mean mirror waistcoats and football boots.

When abroad the shalwar kameez comes into it's own. The air-conditioning is great, the side of the road beckons you at every stop and nobody ever bats an eye-lid when you want to scratch yourself......everyone of my uncles was at it!

For those of you like myself who wear Shalwar Kameez to work and then the same ones to bed - I ask just one thing...at least iron the ****** before coming out.