OH no, it's Valentine's Day on Friday. For couples everywhere it means love, romance and all that doe-eyed, slushy sentimental stuff.

But for many more couples everywhere it means a lot of awkward "where did all the romance go?" moments as your squirm uncomfortably in the presence of the small ads (Cute Bear loves Cuddly Bunny; Pouty loves Clingy) and the glut of heart-shaped gifts.

For these couples - and I put myself firmly in that category - their relationship has gone beyond the passionate, can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other 'just met' stage.

It has passed through the ringing-each-other-ten-times-a-day 'can't get you out of my head' episode and it has long left behind the holding-hands-staring-into-each-others eyes 'we're deeply in love' phase.

These are couples who have been together for so long that they look upon the whole concept of romance as a foreign country.

They have spent so many years together that their relationship has gone from whispering sweet nothings on Valentine's Day to screaming at each other about whose turn it is to feed the cat and take out the rubbish.

They are couples who would never even consider passing each other a compliment including the words sparkling eyes or luscious lips, but would more likely be heard muttering derogatory remarks which would probably include the words cellulite, flab or bad breath.

Such men and women would never spend time at home getting ready to go out to a fancy restaurant, taking care over their appearance, eager to please the other.

They probably don't possess any items of clothing that could be in any way described as sexy or even smart. As for make-up. What's make-up?

The reason for this apparent lack of a decent wardrobe and absence of cosmetics (other than a tub of Vaseline and a 10-year-old mascara) is because such couples have not had a night out together since before the children came along (I know we haven't).

Valentine's Day is in many respects a rough ride for those among us who have no romance in our lives.

As couples, we have spent so much time together and are so familiar with each other - warts and all, and the warts take precedence - that we are unable to rekindle being lovey-dovey feeling.

For sure, we think about romance, but the closest we get to experiencing it is sitting side-by-side on the sofa watching Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in Pretty Woman (actually, I tell a lie. In the case of me and my husband, it was opposite ends of the sofa).

Valentine's Day makes couples like us feel vaguely morose. Romance is a wonderful thing and when you are in the early stages of a relationship it puts you on the crest of a wave. But that cannot last.

Some claim it can, despite years of "Pick those stinking underpants up off the floor, and haven't you done the washing-up?" scenarios.

But many - me included - say it can't. Valentine's Day simply serves to remind us of what we've left behind.

Still, I wouldn't want a romantic clinch with a new love at my age - what with all that cellulite and flab. At least my husband is used to it.