I began working at an office a year ago and have become more and more attracted to one of my colleagues. My colleague though is married but we get on so well together. The more I think about it the stranger it gets and I can't help feeling like this.

Everytime we are working together I just wish things were different and I could the change the situation. But I can't and it angers me. I feel upset sometimes and he doesn't know why? Don't tell me speak to him about it because I will not consider that at all.

I have tried to stay away from him but I can't. I am a deeply cultured person and have always told my friends not to get involved in things like this. I haven't done so in the past as I have never had a relationship. I never even had feelings for a single person never mind a married one!

It has become far to painful day by day and I just wish someone could understand. My only friend has told me off for feeling like this but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

I am considering leaving my post now because I can't take the anguish anymore. I just want to know what to do. I am also convinced other people in the workplace have noticed my feelings towards him because I heard one of them making a comment.

H N T

Manchester

MASSI SAYS,

It wouldn't be right for you to get involved in this kind of relationship because from experience it nearly always ends in tears. Especially since you have no past experience of things of this kind.

You say you have told your friends never to get involved...then maybe you should take some of that advice yourself.

It's difficult I understand but leaving your job wouldn't help either. That would mean you are simply running away from everything. But only you know how much that would help or not. You should also forget about what your colleagues think.

This infatuation you have for your colleague seems to be base on what you think he might be like and in actuallity he may be different.

Maybe if you step back fom the situation and see it from a rational point of view you might see that things are not as bad as they seem.