Keep a diary of your life, a sister said to me recently. "Just like Bridget Jones"... so having avoided the movie for so long I decided to take a look.
I know it is a bit late and most people see films as soon as they come out but having only been to the flicks four or five times ever in my whole life (by choice by the way before they start thinking I'm all locked up at home), it is quite a big thing that I managed to see it at all.
Anyway, I thought the film was fab. Yes, almost as fab as those other great classics I caught on the big screen such as Cinderella, Grease, and er, that's it until 1999 when I saw East is East and then last year Bend It Like Beckham.
But I thought Bridget Jones was v.v.v good as she would say and I think there should be an Asian version of it that I could go and see with my mum.
I know there are lots of Bollywood films these days which model themselves on western blockbusters and sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't. For example, when you are trying to do a Rocky remake and the character playing Rocky is two foot tall with no muscles and a huge moustache, it doesn't really capture the spirit of the film and makes the original look like a work of art.
But back to Bridget Jones, I think this movie would translate very well into a Hindi version and I, for one, would be more than willing to help out with its translation. After all, if Renee Zellweger, an American, can play the plummy, Sloane Ranger to a tee, then I'm sure an Asian actress will also be able to do the role justice.
Everyone must have heard of the cigarette smoking, Chardonnay-swilling unlucky-in-love character by now.
I know I don't have anything in common with her she ends up with two hot guys and the only hot guy I have in my life is Toddler when he is annoyed.
And unlike some women in movies who can forget their misdemeanours by getting drunk and smoking, I make do with the equally-bad samosas and cola.
But Bridget Jones was successful and attractive and had her own flat and had posh parents who lived in a stately home.
Here, that would be difficult to create.
And you couldn't run in the street in your underwear as she does. That would be out of the question.
But let's imagine that there was an Asian version of the story. Burjeet Jani is a successful, um ... optician. She lives with her mother, father, brothers and sisters and perhaps grandparents. She goes out with her friends and this is what she writes:
Day One
Breakfast 3 samosas and can of Coke, not v. good
Day Two
Argue with mother about being old and on the shelf, she tries to fix you up with slimy cousin from back home. Drink three cans of Coke. Vb.
Day Three
Give up and get married. Drink lots of coke at own wedding, hurrah!!!
Oh well, it doesn't have to have exactly the same ending, does it?
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