Workplace misery

I thought bullying was a male thing but these two are on at me constantly. They criticise the way I look, what I wear, the way I work, how I walk, stand, speak, everything, all the time.

I dress differently from them but still traditionally.

They really seem to enjoy putting me down in front of others and now I dread going in to work but I need the job and it took me long enough to find. How do I stand up to them?

DD

MASSI SAYS,

Bullying is rapidly being recognised as a huge workplace problem and according to some researchers, as many as 19 million working days are lost each year to it.

As you have found, women are every bit as capable of being bullies as men are. Bullies latch on to any kind of weakness - but that doesn't mean the person being bullied is incompetent or incapable. Quite often the victim is successful in some way and it is jealousy that motivates the bully.

There are a number of possible strategies but they do involve you being strong and staying calm. Try to make friends with some of your other colleagues, they may be nervous of these bullies, too. The more friends you have around you, the more your rob the bullies of one of their most important weapons, their audience.

Keep a record of what happens and date it. Then talk to your local union representative or to your manager. Every firm should have procedures in place to deal with this problem but in order to act they will need evidence, hence the importance of your diary.

Finally, if you are finding it very hard to cope, do talk to your doctor who may be able to give you time off work for stress.

Recharging your batteries for a few days may make you more able to cope with them when you get back. Finally, the Andrea Adam Trust, which can be found at www.andreaadamstrust.org, is a national charity for the victims of bullying.

It has bullying factsheets you can download from the web site.