IT'S not the reaction you would expect from a player that has just taken eight wickets in one innings.
But it's an indication of the high standards Blackburn Northern pro Gareth Flusk sets himself that just days after his haul against Great Harwood he was left to muse: "I've let myself down in a big way."
Before anyone accuses the South African of being over-critical it should be pointed out that he's referring to his form with the bat rather than the ball.
Indeed, one need look no further than Saturday's Great Harwood game to see what Flusk is talking about, because despite his eight wickets Northern still lost by 151 runs as they were skittled out for just 82.
And Flusk is prepared to accept responsibility for such inconsistency.
He said: "Personally, I haven't set myself any targets but as a bowler who does bat I feel I can produce better scores.
"In the first three weeks the ball was hitting the middle of the bat but since then I've let myself down in a big way.
"I've been taking wickets but I've not been getting big scores and to a degree that puts pressure on the other batsmen.
"We have an inexperienced line-up and I feel that if I can get some runs it takes pressure off the people coming in after me.
"It's definitely a psychological blow if the pro doesn't get any runs, even if I am taking wickets."
The batting problems for Northern were exemplified in the defeat to Earby a week earlier when Neil Fitzmaurice scored 90 - but the team could only manage 164.
Flusk added: "There are a lot of inexperienced players in our batting line-up.
"For many it's their first season and they just need to find their feet.
"I think the big batters haven't produced, myself included, and we're not getting the big scores of 60 and above on a regular basis.
"In games we've won someone has got a big score but in others we've had guys getting into the 20s and nobody has really gone on. That's been a big problem.
"That has to be our aim for the second half of the season, to get a few more runs and be a bit more consistent."
Depsite his team's patchy form, Flusk, 28, is enjoying his third consecutive year in England and his debut season in the Jennings Ribblesdale League.
For the past two years he was the professional for Vickerstown in the North Lancs Premier League, scoring 850 runs and taking 45 wickets in 2002.
Despite having come from the warm climes of South Africa, Flusk says that conditions are significantly different even in different parts of the same county.
He said: "The standard is fairly similar but a little bit better because of some of the wickets we play on here.
"We are not as far north and get a bit more sunshine and it makes for a better standard of bowling and batting track.
"As a bowler you do look for a bit of bounce and a bit of pace so it does help."
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