So the humble Mela's, I have read are gaining recognition from as far afield as New York.

Unfortunately, I have come to dread it.

I used to see it as a great multi-cultural event but now I just don't see the point.

It used to be fun traipsing round a muddy field with a cold pakora saying hello to Mrs Auntie and raising your shalwar slightly so it doesn't become muddy but not flash too much ankle at the same time.

Because they were few and far between it was something to look forward to. But now everyone has been getting in on the act.

However, I think fresh ideas are needed such as a talent spot.

This could feature people who think they are the next Shazia Mirza to stand up and tell a few jokes but actually this would prompt people to mutter: "Look at Mrs Hussain's son, making jokes and acting a fool. You know he got chucked out of university and look at the T-shirt he is wearing, he must be you know, a gay."

And why not have an Asian Stars in Their Eyes so that singers from the sub-continent can be honoured. It is a personal dream of mine to say:

"Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be Lata Mangeshkar!!"

Cue riotous applause. Or in my hometown, cue riot.

And why not have an area dedicated to people who just want to sit and not be interrupted by people pretending to act all important on their mobile phones.

There's always those who stand right behind you and talk as if they have the Prime Minister on the other side of the phone.

Let's face it, the real reason I don't like the mela anymore is because it is just like the Great Yorkshire Show i.e. a cattle market.

I am not one to judge but somethings just have to be said.

You see hordes of young girls teetering in their heels with flicky hair and matching Burberry dupattas and closely follow a gang of youths in matching Burberry caps and clutching bottles in brown paper bags.

They think they can fool you into thinking they are not drinking but seeing them later and they cannot walk in a straight line. It doesn't take a genius to work out they have been at the sauce and I am not talking about the kind you have with donner kebabs and chips.

You end up going to the fun fair and whoever named it this must be shot because in my opinion it is anything but fun.

I end up needing an overdraft to cope with putting the children on all the rides and end up carrying several bags of goldfish which invariably die after a couple if days and have to pay for counselling for my son.

The only good thing about the Mela is that it means you can have a nice walk in the park.