I am not married yet and intend to finish my degree at university. I get very dissapointed at this time of year as the question of marriage always pops up.

It does not bother me so much but the fact that there are people in my family who think I am up to no good at university does. I have tried to explain to them that I will eventually marry but they don't listen. They think I am going out with someone. I am not.

I have a friend who is going out with someone. She was living with her boyfriend. The trouble began when one evening her father came to the house to pay a visit and in a panic the housemates decided to hide her boyfriend in the attic. Unfortunately her father suspecting something searched every corner of the house - including the attic!

I think this has made my family suspicious of me.

My aunt and uncle are the worse. They are always interfering in my family's affairs. My uncle even has the cheek to tell me and my sister how we should live our lives and what to wear. It makes us so angry. My sister is married but that doesn't stop him from making these comments.

I don't like criticising other people and never say anything to my parents about this. They don't understand how harmful it is to accuse people for doing things when they haven't even considered it.

JS

Manchester

MASSI SAYS,

There seems to be a real lack of trust within your family and I'd guess it's because of this incident with your friend.

Your family shouldn't be judging you at all. You are your own person and you should not be compared and have to suffer due to the 'affairs' of your friend.

As for your aunt and uncle, I know relations can be quite strange sometimes but you shouldn't worry too much. Sometimes people just like making things up to create dis-trust. Don't let it affect you because if you show them it does you are falling into their trap.

I can't see why your uncle should make such comments about his neices. Does he not have any of his own children to worry about?

With regards to the marriage issue I get many responses from letters about this. I can only suggest you talk to them and help them understand your intentions. They might just need some reassurances. If that fails you I am sure you can get your sister to talk to them on your behalf.

You are obviously someone who takes her education seriously and I applaud you for that.