with the Rev Kevin Logan, Vicar of Christ Church, Accrington

EUREKA! I've got it! Calendar Vicars! It's hauled the WI into the 21st Century - why not the good old C of E?

Vestments could go Velcro, ready to let rip for a Full Monty finale at the Harvest Festival.

At this point I awoke in a cold sweat. Vicar and Velcro in the same sentence is enough for all right-minded Saturday Messengers to petition the bishop for my removal (defrocking not being the right word in this context).

Today's culture may be anti-clothing, but even it can't cope comfortably with sex, nudity and God's folk in the same mix.

Once it was fine, when the Creator came up with his original garden in Eden. In fact, sex was his first commandment - go forth and multiply - and his birthday-suited duo were delighted to obey.

But then disobedience slithered in, things got a bit fruity, and we began to use God's gifts for our own ends - hence the WI's desire to preserve more than jam.

Sex is God's free gift to those who promise to give themselves in marriage to each other (Genesis 2). Fallen humans that we are, we decided that was far too restrictive, and turned the free gift into a sales pitch.

We now use it to flog cars and newspapers, while modern Lad-ettes re-christen the navel as the new neckline, and take the plunge to sell themselves.

The WI use it to sell a charity cause and a new image.

I sometimes wonder if we are not selling ourselves and God's beautiful gift rather short.