REGARDING the remarks in "Grave concern over state of cemetery" (Letters, September 18), why has the anonymous writer picked on those who have had the misfortune to have a lost child for the "tatty" state of Pleasington Cemetery?

It is quite clear that this writer is not likely to ever feel or know the pain of losing a child. This writer has the audacity to say that "placing windmills, toys etc. on graves is not the way to assuage that grief."

What gives this writer the right to pick on us who cherish the memory of our beloved children?

It is not only children's graves that have edging stones and are highly decorated. Those of many adults are the same. And why should those who are mourning the loss of a loved one not be able to keep a grave as they would like?

Maybe people are beginning to understand how painful grieving is and also to recognise that placing items on graves helps to allow people to work through that grief.

Quite often, items are placed on children's graves by their grief-stricken siblings. It isn't only parents who grieve. Also children grieve for their dead parents and like to place their little treasures on the graves.

What does the writer think of the recent display in the cemetery by funeral directors with tents and balloons?

Yes, we can have a special place around the home where our children were happy. Wouldn't we all love to have our children back in our homes happy and alive?

We didn't ask for our children to die and be placed in a 'cold plot' down the cemetery and we don't like being told that as a result of placing treasures on our graves that they are 'tatty.'

SUSAN WATKINSON, Pritchard Street, Blackburn.