WE can all fancy ourselves in the mirror, but it's what others reckon of us that is the true picture, isn't it?

And don't we see a similar exercise in self-delusion in the customer service awards being dished out to staff by Blackburn with Darwen Council in a spurious ceremony tomorrow?

But for whom did residents vote? Which members of staff did the taxpayers single out as star performers?

Patience, please -- wait for the drum-roll to finish.

Well, er, nobody actually.

The public wasn't asked. These awards -- designed to show residents what a good job the council is doing -- were decided by council employees selecting one another..."Go on, Fred, vote for me and I'll put your name down." Well, I'm not saying this scheme is as flawed as that, but just what use are customer service awards if the customers aren't consulted?

It's pantomime -- and insulting with it.

For, the public's perception of the service it gets from Blackburn with Darwen is not good. A recent survey showed four out of ten people are not satisfied and when they were rung up eight out of 11 council departments had an unacceptable performance.

This, of course, is the same local authority that won the Council of the Year gong in 2002 -- again, not from the users, but from the Local Government Association which was impressed by the town hall's deal to farm out many of its services to Capita, the private-sector firm that now presides over the horrendous backlog over council tax rebates and housing benefits.

It's the same council that clocked up such high rates of staff absenteeism -- among the worst in the country -- that sickness among its 5,000 staff in just one year was equal to more than 178 working days' being lost.

In such circumstances, it's amazing that any caps have been found in which to stick feathers of praise -- even in an in-house award scheme that must have little cred on the ungritted streets of the real world.