That's it...I'm spent!!! After 68 last bits I have seen it all. And even a plate of chocolate bourbons and some wet rusks aren't going to calm me down now. The brothers have gone too far.

You might as well nickname everyone I know 'trying to get a penny off' man. It's ridiculous! The most tight-fisted, scrounging, scrooge-like people are to be found where ever I go.

That extra penny always matters doesn't it. Even for those who are richer than the rest of us. How do they get rich by spending the least amount of money wherever possible. It's all about getting a deal isn't it?

It's the same old story all the ******* time. 'Oh brother can you please give me discount'...'Can you do better than 100% off?'...'If it's free what do I have to pay?'...'What if I give you ten pounds now and pay you the other £990 in the next lifetime.'...'I am a simple man with no money'...all the time you're driving around in flash motor.

Look don't be asking for no deals now because you don't need one. It's not the ordinary hard working folk that get me down it's the son's of b***** living in a mansion with no mortgage and ten cars.

Claim the benefits brother....take your money and build a manor back home but don't be trying to save a penny on my account.

'It's just a stereotype'...'Don't say things you don't mean', they say What a load of scollops.

I want to sell my house but when I see you coming up the driveway I don't feel like opening the door. I know exactly what's on your mind You are going to take the piss out of my house for half an hour and then offer me next to nothing. At the end of it I'll be the one feeling guilty and deemed 'as an unreasonable'. You'll then have the nerve to call me too gorafied because I won't budge on the price.

Offering cash and saying you know someone in my family isn't going to make a difference.

And the worst thing it has become so prevalent even people like myself have to haggle like there's no tommorrow. Why? Because even when I'm not, I still think I'm getting ripped off. It's the feeling inside and I just can't help saying...'Oh so what can you do it for?' It's like it's been programmed into my skull and some mysterious overlord is controlling my actions.

If I don't try to get a deal I get the feeling the shopkeeper is going to go in the backroom and laugh about how he stung a real desi tattu today.

The women also put pressure on us. If they can get twenty per cent off they then make damn well sure their husbands can too. 'So you got nothing off! what kind of man are you? You're always paying too much for everything....so and so's husband got it for £10...you are an idiot!!'