DEAR MASSI, My father is pestering me to marry his nephew abroad.

I really don't want to marry him because I don't like him and I can't see myself spending my life with him. I am not the sort of girl that just goes on looks but I don't like his personality either. I feel I am being used so he can been brought over to this country.

I am also falling in love with my sister-in-laws's cousin brother. Even though I haven't spoken to him he gives me a special smile every time he sees me, which makes me believe he likes me.

I don't know how to approach him though and I just get nervous every time I am around him.

I am 17-years-old and after I finish my studies I want to go to university and then I think I would like to marry him. I just hope that I can be with him and hope my father will agree. I have had an argument with my father concerning his nephew and when I said no, he became very angry. I just started crying. I haven't told anyone about my sister-in-law's cousin brother. Not even my sister-in-law.

I don't want to jump to conclusions but my little brother says he saw my picture in his wallet.

I just worry I won't be able to marry the person I love because of my father.

ZH

Burnley

MASSI SAYS,

It is important to understand that you do not have to do anything you don't want to, especially when it comes to marriage.

You should try your best to make your father understand this. However, much of your letter refers to your love for your sister-in-laws cousin brother. Whilst you have not even spoken to this person you seem to have very strong feelings for him. These may be genuine however it may also be a reaction to not wanting to get married abroad. This supposed 'infatuation' might be brought on by your disagreements with your father.

I suggest you first talk the situation through with your sister-in-law. She may be able to talk to your father on your behalf or suggest someone who can. It is important though not to make your father out to be the enemy in this situation because that will only make things worst.

If you do want to approach your cousin-brother just be yourself and remember he might be more nervous than you are.