I have been with my boyfriend for two and half years.

We have been having trouble in our relationship since I told him I wanted to find someone I could marry. He himself is married, however it was a 'business marriage' so I don't feel it wrong being with him.

We argue a lot over the fact that I need help. I have told him something that happened to me in the past. I lost a baby for him but he said some nasty things to me making me feel so cheap.

I cried for days since no-one had ever talked to me like that before. He said he was sorry and he didn't mean and he was upset because he thought I was leaving him.

Only recently I have heard he is with someone else. I asked him about it and he didn't admit it nor deny it. I feel so hurt but I can't stop thinking about him. I don't want to lose him and I thought we had a special connection because we went through so much together. Even it means we can remain friends.

Am I just being silly? I have never been in such a situation before.

A

Blackburn

MASSI SAYS,

It seems you have been through a lot with this person but that does not mean it gives him the right to treat you like this.

First of all, you say he is already married. Even if it is a 'business marriage' it still means he is indebted to someone else. And to add injury to insult he is seeing someone else. If this is the case it he feels he can use and abuse you at his will. You must not let him do this.

If he does not have the common decency to committ to a relationship with you then maybe you are better off without him. Both of you want seperate things from the relationship and if this man was serious about being with you, he would not be with someone else.

It is difficult to break away from someone with whom you have been through much with but isn't it about time you put your own welfare before his. If you want to remain friends then that is all very well but don't do it for the wrong reasons in the hope that something will come of your relationship. This man needs to put you first and you need to make sure he understands that.

These words may not be the ones you want to hear but in situations like these is necessary to take charge. I hope everything works out for you and please feel free to drop me a letter.