IT'S that time when we think about the year ahead and start making plans for the future. With that in mind, JENNY SCOTT shares her wishes for things she would like to see happening in the celebrity world in 2004. . .

Get a proper job

GETTING a job, preferably not one in the public eye, should be the primary aim of spotlight-hogging Tara Palmer-Tompkinson. For goodness' sake girl, give somebody else a turn in the limelight!

The same advice goes to Kelly Osbourne, who despite having no discernable musical ability, managed to use her dad's success to grab a place at number one. I'm sure she has many hidden talents and should spend 2004 trying to discover what they are. I wouldn't recommend hairdressing though.

A final word on this subject to Alex Best (Mrs George Best) and Penny Lancaster (Rod Stewart's girlfriend) - please stop trading on your respective partners to bag a few headlines.

Wave goodbye

THOSE who should disappear from the public eye altogether include Jordan who could perhaps follow Geri Halliwell's example and vanish down the celebrity rubbish chute, and homes makeover guru and serial "celebrity appearance" guest Linda Barker. Hopefully 2004 will see Linda retire from her TV career after an unfortunate accident with a pair of scissors sustained while she's "always cutting prices".

Another star who would be best advised to clear off while the going's good is EastEnders' Kat Slater. Kat and Alfie should definitely depart from soapland now. We all know that, things being what they are in Albert Square, they're never going to be this happy again. Just one suggestion to Shane Richie - having heard your pub karaoke style rendering of I'm Your Man, please don't embark on a pop career.

And Posh Spice - just go home and enjoy being a wife and a mum for a bit. It's not obligatory for you to have a pop career - you've surely earned enough money by now. If you must insist on singing in public, perhaps you could invest in 60 million ear plugs for all British citizens. It would be a charitable gesture that would be much appreciated.

Get wed

A MESSAGE to Hugh Grant - just stop whatever you're doing, ditch whoever you're seeing and marry lovely Liz Hurley. Since you broke up she's embarked on a downward spiral of dating increasingly unattractive men and it all makes for quite desperate reading. If you're having trouble proposing to her because of your irritating inability to tell people anything important (on which, as we know, you've built an entire film career), try writing it down.

And, on the subject of marriage, my wish for Jennifer Lopez is that she would break up with Ben Affleck now. If she goes ahead and marries him, we all know they'll be divorced by this time next year.

Look sharp

HOPEFULLY Britney Spears' granny knitted her a nice, baggy jumper for Christmas so she'll stop donning all that skimpy attire for her pop videos.

I wish that Pop Idol winner Michelle McManus won't shrink to the size of a stick insect just because she's famous.

Give up nasty habits

I HOPE the Princess Royal's dogs, Dotty and Florence, will learn to control their tempers in 2004. Please girls, there really is no need to ape the bad manners of your owner.

Those who should give vent to their feelings in 2004 include GMTV rivals Fiona Phillips and Kate Garraway. Ladies, you obviously hate each other. Never mind all those daft interviews you do - what viewers really want to see is a cushion fight on the GMTV sofa

And I wish Nigella Lawson would stop licking your fingers while baking cakes. Didn't her mum ever tell her it's unhygienic?

Jonny would be good!

AND finally - a wish on behalf of all women in the UK. Instead of engaging in their usual pointless experiments, could scientists please pool their knowledge and work on a programme of cloning Jonny Wilkinson? One for every woman in the UK should be about right. That way we can all enjoy 2004!