HOT ON the heels of "survivor" guides to Christmas, come a glut of new rules advising us on stress-free January sales.
Be sure you like an item before you buy it; check all items for defects before you reach the till; measure up carefully if buying furniture; know your legal rights and be prepared to stand up for yourself in a dispute...the 'do's and 'don't's are endless -- but despite all the advice most of us will be swept along by the sales euphoria and end up with armfuls of stuff we do not need and will never use.
To prevent this from happening I have chosen to ignore the so-called experts' advice and have produced my own version which I believe is easier to relate to.
Ask yourself whether sleeping rough outside Currys on a freezing cold night - and ending up with mild hypothermia - simply to save £50 on a wide-screen TV that will take up half your living room is really worth it.
If stores are selling off so-called 'remainder' goods, ask yourself why they are remaining in the first place. There may be a perfectly good reason why few people rushed to buy a fluorescent orange lamp shade in the shape of a wind sock or a set of dinner plates with badly-painted aubergines around the rim.
Don't kid yourself that buying a size eight dress at a bargain price will be enough of an incentive to lose weight and drop down two sizes. You know yourself that you are spending your hard-earned cash on something that will only leave the wardrobe when you decide to flog it two years later at a car boot sale (for a fraction of the 'bargain' price you paid for it).
And a pair of size four shoes that you can only just squeeze into will be just as painful no matter how long you attempt to wear them in.
Don't be swayed by huge reductions. The price of a micro-digital DVD-compatible self-tanning machine may have been slashed from £7,000 to £2,195, but to any sensible person that is still way too much to pay for a fake tan when you can probably get the same effect from a bottle costing less than £5.
It may be tempting to buy next year's Christmas presents at January sale prices. Only do this if you have ample room to store them -- I'm thinking in particular here of children's bikes -- and if you remember having bought them 12 months previously (something I have failed to do on more than one occasion).
When you hit the high street after New Year it is easy to get carried away, particularly if you have just spent the best part of a fortnight surviving on alcohol, Brazil nuts and satsumas while watching Only Fools and Horses and You've Been Framed.
People go stir crazy at this time of year and when they break free they lose their minds. At what other time do shoppers literally come to blows over shoes in Next or jumpers in Gap?
To be blunt, the best -- and final -- piece of advice I can give is to stay at home. No one seems to have registered the fact, but nowadays shops have decent sales throughout the year - at times when you're both saner and safer.
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