SPEED cameras, eh? There's been a lot said about them this week. Apparently 53 of the 117 cameras in East Lancashire shouldn't be here.
They don't meet the government criteria for being put up in the first place so transport secretary Alistair Darling (you know, the one with the white hair and black, bushy eye brows) is sorting it out.
He's writing to the Lancashire Safety Camera Invisible Partnership Thingy, the group in charge of the roadside cameras, to get them to explain why the cameras should stay.
Some campaigners, who loathe the cameras more than French paedophiles, are getting a bit excited.
Perhaps this will spell the end of the cameras, they think. But I can't understand why they get so heated about the cameras in the first place.
"They're just a money making scam for the police," they crow. Well, no they're not. The cash doesn't go to the police.
"They're just a stealth tax." Now this does wind me up.
The only people forking out speeding fines are speeders. Lawbreakers. People who think it's fine and dandy to go faster than they should.
Of course, I never go above the limit. But if I did I'd be man enough to hold up my hand and say, "it's a fair cop, guv". Not like these angry motorists who refuse to accept they sometimes GO MUCH TOO FAST.
My worry is that the people who get caught and then whinge about it can't even spot a giant bright yellow box on a 12ft pole at the side of the road, despite countless warning signs before they actually get to the cameras. How would they spot a small child at the roadside who might just run out in front of them?
If angry drivers want to moan, it should be at the anonymous people in charge of the cameras, the Invisible Partnership Thingies. I've never come across a more secretive bunch of people. At least not a group which collects and spends public money as freely as they do.
They are the ones responsible for whacking speed cameras wherever they like and they are the ones who should face up to an increasingly angry public instead of shifting the blame onto the police.
And I don't like the shifty way they always refer to speed cameras as "safety cameras". They give me the creeps.
It's a wonder I like their flashy cameras.
PEOPLE are joining gyms in their legions to lose New Year pounds. But it's the kids we should be worried about.
So now school dinners are set to be standardised and revolutionised to stop kids becoming porkers by the age of eight with six schools in Nelson planning to take part in a pilot scheme.
Studies galore have pointed the finger at poor diet but many lobbyists blame computer games for stopping youngsters from exercising.
That's not the kids' fault though -- it's our fault for being a whinging, fearful mob.
Youngsters simply don't get the chance to tear about like they used to (and keep in shape) because we are all terrified of the harm that will come to them.
Paedophiles, al Qaeda and escaped lions are all very real dangers putting our children at risk.
It's time we put these dangers into perspective and let the children play out -- and burn off some calories while they're at it.
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