THERE'S an old nursery rhyme about a Doctor Foster going to Gloucester. As the story goes, he fell in a puddle right up to his middle and never went there again.
It's a good job he didn't suffer the same mishap on a trip to East Lancashire though. Firstly it wouldn't have rhymed. And secondly, it's likely he would have sued the pants off the local council.
You see it turns out that Lancashire County Council had to fork out an incredible £6m on claims last year. Not surprisingly, it thinks a lot of them were dodgy. At Blackburn with Darwen Council they spent more on compensating accident victims in 2003 than they did on repairing the roads. And this the town with 4,000 holes, don't forget.
Something in the region of £1.6m went to ease the pain of people who suffered bumps and breaks at the hands of the 'evil' council. A lot of these people -- just think how many had to put in claims to grab so much money off these cash-strapped local authorities -- are getting money for nothing.
A bit of a trip and a grazed knee after slipping in the rain? Ker-ching! A bump on the head after carelessly ambling into a lamp-post? Ker-ching!
I don't doubt that there are genuine accident victims who can lay the blame firmly at the feet of their local authority. But all too often people are looking to claim for minor injuries, the sort of things that left us with plasters on our knees as nippers.
And it's those people who give me the slightest tinge of overwhelming, absolute and bloody rage because we are the ones who have to cough up the readies for them. After all, where does the council get its money from? Why, you and me of course.
It's one thing for us all to contribute to the NHS and help make people better --- a lot of them are accident victims. But to then be expected to shell out again because of the personal trauma or time off work that person had to suffer as a result of their accident? Someone is having a laugh.
And sitting alongside them, giggling away like a wealthy hyena, is the "no win no fee" solicitor who managed to make a tidy sum into the bargain. Grrr.
This comes at a time when councils are preparing to stun us with their enormous council tax hikes.
Civic leaders defend themselves by complaining about a shortfall in their grants from the Government.
But when a council is moaning about having to put up tax to cover a £500,000 shortfall, then talks about paying three times that amount to accident victims, I think any council tax payer has every right to get annoyed.
The more I think about it, the more unstable I become.
I wonder if I could sue a claimant for the personal anguish they are putting me through?
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