IN the past I haves been accused of being out of touch with my memories of how Radcliffe used to be and what it has become. Perhaps I have missed the effects that newcomers have had on our town and just how "up market" Radcliffe has become.

Indeed, I am amazed to discover that the bowling green in Coronation Park has been allowed to be taken over by a croquet team.

Now I must confess that my knowledge of croquet is sadly lacking, although I believe it is fashionable among the nobility. So has nobility been attracted to our humble little town?

Perhaps we can look forward to a polo field at Close Park, grouse shooting on our moorland, falconry at Bottom o'th' Fields, deer stalking, and the introduction of wild boar to Ringley Woods with a view to "pig sticking". Imagine the effects on local employment and the economy in general. The commercial opportunities are limitless. How fortunate I have not lost my hair so that I can practice tugging my forelock.

A ridiculous vision, maybe, but no more ridiculous than our council using public money to support such a minority sport. Or perhaps our councillors are anticipating their elevation to the peerage!

BERNARD SLINGSBY