A funny old life

HIS cartoons were once the toast of national newspapers. But since he retired from his day job, Blackburn's Brian Swainbank has also turned his attentions to comic verse -- and his amusing observations on the absurdities of life have won him quite a following.

"I'm known more as a cartoonist than a writer," said Brian, 67, who lives with his wife Jean on Longshaw Lane.

"But I was watching TV one day and Pam Ayres was on, reading out some of her poems.

"I was really intrigued and thought, 'I could try that'.

"It was a natural progression from the cartoons and just added to the amusement."

Since Brian started writing his poems, about 10 years ago, he has produced hundreds of verses and has now compiled a fundraising book called A Bit Of This And That.

"I have notebooks full of my little verses," he explained. "And somebody said, 'Why don't you write a book?' so I did."

Since the book's publication, in June, it has sold 200 copies and made a few hundred pounds for Blackburn's Church of the Saviour, where Jean serves as warden.

All of the poems, which have names like Supermarket Jinx, I've Had A Bit Of Trouble and It's Driving Me Nuts, have comical cartoon illustrations to accompany them.

"If you write a poem about a dog and you draw a cartoon to go with it, you've added a bit more humour to it," said Brian.

Brian's fascination with drawing emerged during his childhood, spent in Old Swan, Liverpool.

"My mum used to say, 'Stop messing around with bits of paper and pencils and go outside and play with the other children'," he recalled.

As Brian grew up, his off-beat Scouse sense of humour began to intrude more and more into his drawings.

"That was the Beatles era," he said. "I really wanted to go to art school, but the finances at home were such my mum and dad wanted me to get a job -- which I did. I emigrated from Liverpool to Blackburn and worked for the post office for many years."

However, by that stage, Brian had become known for his cartoons. As he explained: "People I know from years ago say to me, "Are you still doing your cartoons?'"

During the 1980s, Brian's cartoons were printed in The Sun and The Mirror with increasing regularity.

At one stage he was seeing his works being published at the rate of one a week, but decided finally the rewards were too slim and unreliable for the amount of effort he was putting into them.

"At places like The Sun they'll have a huge stack of cartoons and they'll pick eight," he said. "The rest they won't even have looked at.

"So I draw mostly for pleasure now."

Brian's sketches and poems are based on humorous observations of everyday life.

In one poem, called The Supermarket Jinx, he writes: "I don't know the reason why/ I know it's not my fault/ But when I get up to a checkout/ That'll be the one to halt."

In another called The Torture he describes catching a burglar in his home and exacting cruel revenge: "Tied to a chair so he couldn't take flight/ I read him me poems for the rest of the night."

Indeed, the whole spectrum of daily life, from computer conundrums to annoying alarm clocks, is contained within Brian's verse.

But where does he get his inspiration from?

"Somebody will make a remark," he explained. "The Supermarket Jinx is based on real life -- when I get to a check-out, something always happens.

"I wrote The Torture following a debate on TV about Tony Martin asking whether householders should assault burglars and that was going through my mind when I wrote the poem."

And indeed, many readers will be able to identify with such incidents.

"Have you ever been following road signs, then you get to a junction and suddenly there's no sign?" asked Brian.

"That's when we always take the wrong one! And if you stop and ask somebody for directions you either get the village idiot or somebody from out of town.

Equally recognizable are the tales about next-door's cat.

"We've had an awful effort convincing it it doesn't live in this house," said Brian. "You can go upstairs for something and it'll come rushing downstairs, or sometimes we're sat in the front room watching telly and the door will suddenly start to open and it'll be that cat."

So could another book be on the way? Certainly Brian has enough poems to provide the material.

"I can't stop writing them. I am scribbling all the time," he said.

"But my latest craze is to do bigger cartoons in watercolour. I got that idea when I was looking around a store in Blackburn and I saw some like that for sale.

"The sales assistant told us they sell really well, so that's become my next thing."

Brian's book A Bit Of This and That costs £4 and is available by phoning (01254) 580666.